But I Will Never Forget

i found her glasses in her purse with prescriptions she will
never fill again for the books she will never read with them
like the pantyhose in the drawers she will never slip into
again or dresses she will never put over them for parties
she will never attend with friends like the car in the
garage she will never drive again 2 months old not even 2000
miles with pictures picked up that day in the back-seat
along with my ten year-old sister’s electronic game & school
cut & pastes a small black hair pin in the glove compartment
that my brother did not want to move that my grandmother
cried over that i ran through my fingers until i broke for
the hair she will never put up again when she never drives
her red car again to never take my little sister to school
again who will never have a mother to see what she makes in
art class again or never be scolded when her electronic
games beep too much for the headaches my mom will never have
again like the boxes of pictures she will never put away the
pictures of her & us & a life that will never be put away
though my father will try slipping them into the pages of
photo-albums that will never be complete because we are not
complete we are crippled & the pictures will turn old but
she will never be forty-eight & never see my children &
never go to chile & never open the presents i will never buy
her for the christmas’ i will never spend with her & i will
never understand why my mom is gone & gone to where & how
someone could be so evil & kill her in cold blood on
halloween night in the dark basement of a building where my
mother will never scream again so i will never know the
intimacy of so many words & touches & i will never
understand this but i know she was my mom & she loved me & i
loved her & now i must heal & yes forgive & forgive god
forgive fate & forgive even the madman who will live
eternally with his soul to the flame.